This book, and the following works in this series on Verbal Aikido, demonstrate, by neither fleeing nor entering into a conflict, how the power of your deliberate intention can quickly and easily enable balance and maintain inner peace. Just as the martial art of aikido has proven to be one of the foremost means of effective self-defense from a physical attack, Verbal Aikido provides the practitioner with an equally effective means of dealing with verbal attacks.

We often mix up ‘conversation’ and ‘debate’. In a debate there is a winner, and there is a loser. The true purpose of conversation, as proposed herein, varies from sharing feelings, to finding solutions, to even just passing the time with humor and a sense of connection. Indeed you cannot ‘win’ a conversation. You may however, have an astonishing impact on balancing one.

So how would you like to be able to have the self-confidence that never again will you be abused by words? If you’re ready to discover how to eliminate the build up of negative emotions from repeated verbal attacks, and say ‘no’ to relational stress forever; if you’re ready to transform stagnant relationships into harmonious ones in a way that you never even dreamed possible, then I urge you to read on.

Some notes about this book

- For the sake of simplicity the author has used ‘his’, ‘him’ or ‘he’ when referring to the subjects in question (attackers, Aikidoists, instructors etc.).

- This is first volume in a three-volume work corresponding to each of the three learning cycles or ‘belts’ in Verbal Aikido. It is directed at the novice and covers the basic notions and exercises necessary to practice the art. In the second volume, the style alternates to cover more advanced concepts for the learner, and to include the beginnings of a self-teaching perspective. The third volume is written for those aiming at becoming instructors through a maieutic approach.

- Verbal Aikido is distinguished from martial aikido throughout the books, but the term ‘Aikidoist’ alone, as used herein, refers to the Verbal Aikido practitioner.

- The verbal exchanges presented herein are either transcriptions from spars (verbal exchanges with an attack used to develop the art of Verbal Aikido in a controlled practice environment) or adapted versions of real exchanges.

- The explanation for the Japanese terms, innovated concepts and jargon can be found in the glossary in appendix D. These terms will appear in italics when they are first used.